I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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