idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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