Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
