They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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