I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I believe in your delicious
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
