dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
