Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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