I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
