If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
