No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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