whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
