She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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