East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
