wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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