hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize