Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
