This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
