Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
