So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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