He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
