I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
