he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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