Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
