They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
