they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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