I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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