Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
