That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
