hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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