He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
