"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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