you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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