my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
