It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
