ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
