Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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