Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
