i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
