she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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