I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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