All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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