And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
