i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
