Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
