I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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