i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
