Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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