Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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