I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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