What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize