Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
