I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
