My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
