nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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