You're my little dorito
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
