This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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