I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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