Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
