I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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