lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
