If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
