it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
